Friday, May 24, 2019

The Middle School Roller Coaster - A Guide for Moms of Littles



As I think back to the beginning of this roller coaster ride called “the middle school years,” I remember how the jolt of lockers, blazers, and mounds of homework seemed to awaken all of us.  As a family, we had planned for these years and as a mother, I had certainly prayed for these years to be smooth sailing for my twins. Now that we are coasting back into the home gate, I can tell you that the ride included many ups and downs and many more fantastic views from the top. 

For moms of littles that are about to embark on the elementary school years or even those moms about to buckle up and ride through middle school, I want you to know that although the ride is bumpy and grueling, it’s the speed at which the ride passes that will take your breath away.  These years can be hard and confusing, but try to remember that there will be an end.  How you enjoy the middle will define the middle school experience for you and your children and ultimately bring the most joy.  Because eventually, the ride does come to a slow stop back at the gate and you want to be the one they remember smiling back at them.

The middle school years are often dreaded and maybe rightfully so.  There will be days when you think you don’t know your child anymore and then there will be days when they remind you so much of yourself that you nod your head and quietly say, “I remember feeling that way” or “Gosh, I remember THAT from middle school.”  Those are the days that they need you to just be there.  Did you hear that sweet mama of littles?  There will be days that you can’t fix the struggle and you just have to let your child climb and conquer the mountain on their own.  These are the hard days but I promise the view from the top is worth the wait.

Just as quickly as the hard days come, the easy and overwhelmingly fun days with middle schoolers will also come.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that there is no joy in these years because there certainly will be more happy days than hard ones. There will be days that your middle schooler will surprise you by throwing up their hands, laughing, and enjoying the rush of the trip.  Be sure to keep your eyes open wide on this roller coaster, watching how they enjoy conquering the fear of these years.  Middle school may start with awkwardness and insecurity, but for us, it ends with an abundance of confidence and maturity because they have endured the ride with perseverance.

The many twists and turns along the way ignite growth in your teen that will surprise you.  Yes, there is unbelievable physical growth during these years and you will wonder how they can possibly eat so much food.  But there is also growth in character, growth in friendships, and growth in faith.  Watching your teen take ownership of their own relationship with Jesus will leave you praising your Savior for the joy of it all.  Similarly, your teen will develop friendships during these years that are so valuable to them that you will find yourself thankful that they have someone to confide in.  Often these friends and their families become your friends and so precious to you, too.  They will figure out how to navigate social media and cell phones.  They will learn that inclusion is everything and being left out hurts.  They will finally find their passion—whether it’s sports or music, or dance, or art, they will find what makes their heart happy.  They will find motivation within themselves to excel in this passion, simply because they love it so.  Character traits like trustworthiness, forgiveness, and honesty will develop all of a sudden and give you a glimpse into the person God has created them to be. Your son will open doors for you and offer to carry heavy stuff for you, and your daughter will send you texts that say “Thanks for always being in the stands.”  You will cry because you can’t believe God would give you a front row seat to watching these beautiful little people become young adults. Your heart will almost explode from your chest when they look for you at the end of every game or school function. You are still the one they search for in the midst of the twists and turns of these hard middle years.

Finally, if I had to summarize to you the middle school journey, I’d say this:  Middle school is definitely a roller coaster ride through the early teen years.  There are days of immense joy and pride, but there are also days of disappointment and loss.  The ride often turns you upside down and that can leave you reeling and holding on tightly.  Remember to enjoy both the ups and downs of the journey because they are what lead your teen back safely to the gate.  And as you reach the end of the ride, unbuckle, smile, and then take their hand on the other side, leading them to the next big ride.  We look forward to the joys of high school and the view from the top of another incredible ride.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for joys of middle school.  My heart is grateful for the hard days and the easy days.  We have conquered mountains, cried tears, endured loss, and enjoyed incredible highs. Thanks for helping us learn tough lessons in the classroom and out.  We understand that not only did you use these years to grow our children, but also to teach us as parents to depend on you more.  We recognize that you were right there with us through every single second of the ride.  Our hearts are grateful for the journey.  Lead us into these high school years with our eyes fixed on you.           
                                                                               Amen



Tuesday, August 9, 2016

A Teacher's Prayer

As I sit here the night before school begins, I find myself anxious.  Anxious about the first day of school, meeting my new little friends, and leaving my own children behind for this career.  I'm thinking of my new 2nd graders and wondering what the new year will bring.  I'm thinking of my now 3rd graders and hoping I have equipped them well for the upcoming school year.

As someone who strives for excellence in all she does, the anxiety is rooted in the unknown.  I know that I have the skills necessary to teach academics to my class. But I'm left to wonder...Am I enough?

Am I enough for an autistic child who needs me to guide his social quirks?

Am I enough for ESL students that speak little English and read even less?

Am I enough for the students repeating 2nd grade?

Am I enough for children with medical issues that may need my attention?

Am I enough for the children who are grieving a loss or living in abuse?

Am I enough for special education students who will need extra help in all that we do?

Am I enough for my co-workers who who need my input on curriculum and grade level decisions?

Am I enough for my own children when I get home?

In His amazingly soft, but clear voice this evening, God has reminded me that I don't have to be enough.  I just have to show up.  I am his tool, his vessel for reaching these children this year.  He stills my heart and tells me that Jesus was enough.  All I have to do is follow.

And so, tomorrow I will get up with confidence in Him.  I will smile my best smile and greet those sweet children with all the love He has given me.  He has perfectly equipped me to hug the child whose mom is so burdened with life that she has no more to give.  He has prepared me to encourage the teacher who carries the same doubts and fears as me.  He has given me the ability to love.  For that is all I have been called to do.

Dear God,

Thank you for another opportunity to teach your precious children.  Please walk with me in that school building tomorrow.  Help me to hug needily, smile constantly, share happily, and love deeply.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." ~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16





Monday, December 15, 2014

Standing With You





When I look at this picture, so many memories come to mind.  Our wedding day was full of love, excitement, and joy.  I remember you standing by my side, squeezing my hand, as Mr. Precise announced we were Mr. and Mrs. Scott Lockhart Browning.  I was amazed that someone would stand with me, totally committed to love me forever.  And as I stood looking out over the church pews at the friends and family that came to share that day with us, I knew that this day was a blessing.

I remember the Sunday School teacher well.  Her name was Mrs. Thomas and she caught me and the other 6th grade girls by surprise that Sunday morning.  In her lesson, she told us that we should begin praying for our future husbands.  I remember the looks on the faces of the girls around me.  They were stunned, surprised, and mortified at the thought.  I agreed completely until a few days later when I remembered her words: "God has a perfect husband for you.  He needs your prayers to be the best man for you."  And so I did...I prayed for his salvation, I prayed he'd have parents to love him, I asked God to help him with homework, and to keep him safe. I prayed he would never leave me. I asked God to stay close to him and to lead him to me.  Off and on through the years, I'd remember her words again and I'd pray.  I prayed for Scott before I even knew him.

As I think about all the other times you've stood with me, I find myself emotional.  You've stood with me through funerals that I couldn't bear without you, through the words "I'm sorry, but I don't hear a heartbeat.  You've miscarried this baby."  You stood with me when the ultrasound showed baby A and baby B.  You stood with me when I held Bailey as he took his last breath.  You stood with me when I couldn't walk in that NICU alone.  You stood with me when I stayed in bed for months to get our third bundle of joy here safely.  You stood with me for every dance recital, every ball game, every music program and every single stomach virus.  You stood with me at my second college graduation.  You stood with me every single time.

And so, as we stand today looking back over the last 14 years, I am again reminded that my God hears and answers every prayer.  You are my answered prayer.  I am so thankful God made you perfectly mine.

Happy Anniversary.  I stand with you and wait for the blessings to come.

"Ask and it shall be given to you.  Seek and you will find.  Knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7


Saturday, September 27, 2014

Heaven's Door

My family and I stood talking in the parking lot of a large event. A football game maybe, or even some sort of activity for one of the kids. Across the street, I could see my mother, my sister, my niece, and my brother-in-law getting into their cars.  That's when it began. 

I noticed a few people floating in the air.  I looked to the right, to the left, and saw several people flying high above my head.  How could this be?  I remember saying to Scott, "What in the world is going on?" when suddenly, my feet left the ground.  I felt light, like I was flying.  I looked around and discovered that I had been lifted up as well.  I saw cars, street signs, and people growing smaller. Amazed, I began to smile.  I thought to myself, "I'm not sure what is going on, but this is fun."  For most of my life, I've loved flying.  As a teenager, I dreamed of flying airplanes and one day maybe even the space shuttle.  This was close enough for me.  

My body kept floating up.  Higher and higher I climbed.  At no point did I feel afraid.  I was enjoying the trip of a lifetime.  After several minutes of enjoying my flight, I glanced over my left shoulder and saw a magnificent sight.  Hundreds, thousands, no millions of birds flying with me.  Wait, those aren't birds...those are people!  And then I realize, we are all going Home.  

I don't remember words, just laughter.  I began laughing and felt a tremendous joy well up within me.  My body was still rising when I looked up.  I wish I could fully describe to you the view...the sky looked as if it had a massive hole in it.  The heavens had opened.  And we were all headed towards it.

The brightest light I've ever seen shined upon us.  It was warm and inviting and somehow, even though it's brightness should have hurt my eyes, I couldn't look away.  It simply invited.  I heard the other "floaters" laughing and singing and I could tell that my body was making some sort of noise but I couldn't quite distinguish it.  My spirit was in the lead.  My soul was excited and anticipating the Light.

In an instant, my fellow "floaters" were gone.  I was surrounded by light and what appeared to be stars swirling around me.  I remember thinking that I must have reached the hole in the sky when all of a sudden I was jolted.  My body pushed forward into what seemed like a wormhole in space...I felt like I was on a roller coaster and my stomach swirled.  Again, laughter.  I was elated.  This jolt ended as quickly as it began.  When I opened my eyes, I was inside a house.  

This house felt familiar, but I didn't recognize the furnishings.  The rooms were very bright, lit up by the open windows.  As I walked through, I began thinking that I should find my grandmother here.  As I looked for her, I saw my mother's brown flats beside the door.  This was my mother's home, not my grandmother's.  I called for Mom, but there was no answer.  I remember dancing through the house joyfully, never afraid of where I had landed.  I was excited to see my mother and couldn't wait to tell her all about this journey.  

I continued my search outside.  When I walked out the back door, I entered the city street.  This was no ordinary city.  The city was filled with people and there was singing all over.  Everyone seemed happy and full of life.  I was at peace.  This felt like Home.

                                                                                                                                                                         
_________________________
Have you ever dreamed a dream and when you woke up, all you wanted to do is go back to sleep to finish the dream?  The above story is actually a description of a dream I had last night.  I wish I could tell you more, but this is all I remember.  

So, at 4:30 in the morning, I prayed.  "Sweet Jesus, I know this was a dream, but thank you for reminding me what a beautiful home I have waiting for me.  Please help me to understand what I'm to take away from these images.  I am so hopeful and ready to see your face."  

I've replayed the images from this dream in my head all day.  I've prayed about whether or not to share this story with you.  It is one of those dreams that I'll never forget.  

It got me wondering about all the things I've been taught about Heaven.  My dream didn't have any pearly gates...I just went straight there.  I arrived in a place of comfort...my mother's heavenly home.  The city was beautiful and lit up by the most amazing Light.  I can only assume it was the glory of God.  

I was never afraid during this dream.  In fact, I was joyful, happy, and full of love.  I was at peace with the uncertainty of my location because I knew I was in the presence of God himself.  I felt loved.

If I'm honest, I'm not sure what God is teaching me with this.  I know that this was a dream and one day, I'll ask Him about it.  But I am sure of this:  God is anxiously waiting on our arrival.  He plans to open the heavens for each of us and that day will be filled with love, joy, and laughter.  And when I finally get there, I know that it will be way more amazing than any dream.


Luke 23:43
And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."  

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written:  "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love."
























Wednesday, June 4, 2014

How many Taliban leaders is your son worth?

I am not usually one to participate in political discussions.  I do not enjoy the political banter between red and blue and I certainly don't enjoy arguing my political positions with friends.  But the recent uproar over POW Bowe Bergdahl's release has me thinking. 

I've watched numerous news anchors and commentators discuss whether or not this American soldier was worthy of rescue.  At one point, I even questioned it myself.  I wondered how our government could give up five known Taliban leaders for one American soldier.  As I read more and more stories about this soldier, I became angry about the seemingly useless act.  I read the speculation that he deserted his camp and fellow soldiers.  I read that six American servicemen lost their lives searching for him.  That certainly seems like a tall price.

It is impossible, however, for me to view cases like these without looking through my "mother goggles."  For me, having children made the world a different place.  I can not think about political situations like these without thinking of my own children.  I can not escape the thoughts that come.  Thoughts like "What if that were my son?"

As I looked for answers, Jesus suddenly spoke to me.  Very quietly, but bluntly, he asked me, "How many Taliban leaders is your son worth?"  It stopped me dead in my tracks.  I would give anything to have my son freed.  Anything. There would be no second-guessing, "But did he desert his country?  Is he a traitor? Did he intend to join the enemy?  Did he make a terrible mistake?"  It simply would not matter.  I'd just want my son home.

The questions continued to humble my heart. What if Jesus thought I wasn't worthy of saving?  What if my mistakes had led Him to consider the price too high?

By human nature, we are quick to judge.  We are quick to point out that rules were broken and mistakes were made.  I am so glad that I serve a God that doesn't keep record of wrongs.  Through God's grace He rescued meThough the price was too high, he saved me.  He gave his life for me.  He would spend a lifetime chasing my tracks to find me.  He would never give up looking for me. 

He is my Savior.  I am free. 

Aren't we supposed to think like Jesus?  Isn't He our ultimate example? Didn't he rescue the unworthy? 

I am thankful that mistakes I've made didn't result in national security consequences.  I am also thankful that my bad decisions aren't plastered all over the evening news.  I am most thankful for a God that loves me despite all of these.  No matter your opinions on this debate, a son is safe.  I'm pretty sure Jesus is pleased with that.

Dear Lord,
Thank you for rescuing me despite my mistakes.  Thank you for reminding me that other people's mistakes are not mine to judge.  It is so easy to get caught up in the controversy of this world.  Help me to keep my eyes on you no matter the circumstance, no matter the situation.  There is no debating your love for me.  I am so grateful you found me worthy.  I love you so much.   Amen.

So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free. John 8:36












Saturday, May 10, 2014

Motherhood to Me

Mother's Day is here and what does that mean to this mother of three?   I stop to ponder what would make my Mother's Day special and discover that the best Mother's Day doesn't include a Hallmark card, or a huge bouquet of flowers, or even chocolate candy.  For me, this day is set aside to remember how very blessed I am to have three little people call me "Mama."

Motherhood is a joy, a challenge, and the very best gift I have ever received.  Being a mother takes courage, hope, and more love than I ever thought I had.  But it has its rewards too. In return for my efforts, I get kisses, flowers from the yard, silly little stories, Harris-isms, TWINS, and so much more.

So, this Mother's Day, I pray my children know that I don't care much about receiving a gift.  I've already been given all I've ever really wanted.  Them.

Motherhood is love and so much more.  For me, Motherhood is...

  • That very first ultrasound.  That very first heartbeat.  That very first kick.

  • Bottles, formula, and endless amounts of baby food on the kitchen floor.

  • Diaper changes and feedings at Midnight, 2 am, 4 am and 6 am.  (times two)

  • Long naps in the bed with two babies and then three.

  • Feeling like those long infant nights are never going to end.  And then they do.

  • Carrying arm loads of baby carriers, strollers, and diaper bags.

  • Car, then mini-van, then big SUV.

  • Potty-training, pull-ups, and big boy pants.

  • Accidents in Target, accidents in Wal-Mart, accidents at church, and big girl panties.

  • Ballet practice, ballet costumes, and ballet recitals.

  • Baseball practice, baseball practice, and more baseball practice.

  • Baby laundry, big kid laundry, and endless laundry!

  • Bedtime stories, bedtime prayers, and very special bedtime talks.

  • Smiles from the bleachers to a nervous 1st baseman.

  • Cheers from the sidelines to a very brave goalkeeper.

  • Lunch after doctor appointments to postpone school one more hour.

  • Playing hangman in church and passing gum to keep them quiet.

  • Praying over and over they find Jesus as their Savior.

  • Gentle words of encouragement when friends' words leave a scar.

  • Calling my own Mama when I need a little help.

  • Saying NO when sometimes you really want to say YES.

  • Two miscarriages that leave me lonely, hurt, and afraid.

  • Ultrasounds that show Baby A and Baby B.

  • Preschool plays, preschool pictures, and preschool good-byes.

  • Kindergarten friends and then reading books to me.

  • "Mama! Watch this!" and giving back a "Woo Hoo!"

  • Coupe cars, then training wheels, and riding bikes.

  • Watching the corner while he rides his bike around the block for the first time. The sigh of relief when I see him making the turn.

  • "Mama, can I have the keys? I need to pick up a friend."

  • Piano recitals, church choirs, and singing in the backseat.

  • Swimming pools, floaties, and "Look Mom!  I can dive!"

  • Saying "I love you" and knowing it can never fully describe the way my heart feels.

  • Hearing "I love you" from that baby and instantly my heart melts.

  • Peanut butter sandwiches and lunchboxes for three.

  • Surprise trips to get ice cream just because we can.

  • "Dear God, I don't know what to do. This mothering stuff is tough."

  • Saying "I'm sorry. Mama messes up too."

  • Long, tight hugs after a heartbreaking defeat in the championship game.

  • Jumping and screaming for my All-Star who scores a winning run.

  • The lump in my throat when hearing "Take him to the E.R. I think it's a concussion."

  • Wiping tears and long hugs when Bailey, our dog, goes to be with Jesus. 

  • "I miss Great Dad" and mustering an "I do too."

  • Knowing that I wouldn't be the mother I am today if I didn't have the greatest Mama of my own.

  • Allowing three little people take my heart with them everywhere they go.

  • Rocking babies and hearing sweet whispers from above, "I love you even more than this."

Being a mother is the greatest gift I've ever known. God has used this experience to show me love, mercy, and grace.  There are so many ways that He pours out His love for us here on Earth.  I believe making me a mother is one very special way He makes me into the person He wants me to be.  And for that, I am eternally grateful. 


Dear Jesus,

So many times I've thanked you for making me Mama to Matt, Macy, and Harris.  If I thanked you every day for the rest of life, I couldn't thank you enough for the gifts of these three babies.  They fill my heart with joy and my life with purpose.  Through them, I see a little bit more of you each day.  Use them to mold me.  And may they see You in me.  Chase them, Jesus, and never let go.  I love you so.  Amen.

Children are a gift from God.  They are his reward. Psalm 127:3


















Sunday, April 6, 2014

They are yours, Lord.

Dear Jesus,

The words "Thank you" just don't seem to be enough.  Surely there are words more powerful than these to express my gratitude to you today.  As I watched Matthew's and Macy's baptism this morning, I was overcome by the love you have for them.  I was overcome by the love you have for me. 

Because you love me, you have blessed me with these two very special people.  I prayed for them and you answered. They are the miracles that solidified my faith in you.  

Matthew and Macy fill our home with joy and laughter.  They are funny, caring, smart, and share a love for each other that continues to amaze me.  They have a heart for people, a heart for each other, and now, a heart for you.  They taught me how to love, how to live, and how to see joy in it all.

As their mother, it is difficult to imagine anyone loving them more than I do.  But as I watched them both declare you as their Savior this morning, I realized that the love I have for these two only scrapes the surface of the love you have for them.  That realization overwhelms me.  It is your love that brought them to this baptism day. 

Thank you for pursuing my children.  Thank you for stretching through the ugliness of this world and wrapping their hearts in your grace. I pray that you will continue to bind them to you through their adolescent years.  And in those tough teen years, sweet Jesus, don't let go.  When they leave our home for college, I know that you'll go with them.  Guide both of them to make decisions that point to you.  When they fall, pick them up, brush them off, and set their paths straight towards you again. Remind them of the cross and your unfailing grace. 

There has never been a day when I've been more proud to be Matthew's and Macy's mother.  When you gave them to me, I promised you I would spend my life leading them to you.  We did it, Lord.  They are yours.  May this be the beginning of two lives lived for you. 

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
 This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.