The Joy in Cancer

Throughout my life, I have battled cancer.  Not in the way that others who are diagnosed with the physical disease, but I have battled it emotionally for most of my life.  Just hearing the word CANCER is enough to turn my stomach into knots.  Once you have experienced a loved one with cancer, or worse, lost a loved one to cancer, it is difficult to explain the magnitude of the word to others. 

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade, my sister was diagnosed with cancer.  She had been complaining of a knot in the upper part of her right arm for several weeks.  I remember us sitting at the dinner table one night and Sondra rubbing her arm telling Mom that it still hurt.  And I remember exactly where I was when my mother told me it was cancer. I was standing in front of my closet door, hanging up the laundry she had just laid on my bed.  As she stood next me, I could tell she didn't know how to tell me.  "The tumor is cancer," she said softly.  I remember asking, "Is she going to die?"  I really don't remember how my mother answered, because at that point her answer didn't really matter.  My sister had cancer and in 1988 that was not a good thing.  Radiation,  chemotherapy, and several surgeries followed.   I stayed many nights with my aunt and uncle while Mom took Sondra back and forth to Children's Hospital in Birmingham.  I spent many long days in hospital waiting rooms hoping, worrying, and visiting with family.

Fast forward to my junior year in college. My uncle Charles, the same uncle that took care of me while my sister was undergoing cancer treatment, died of a brain tumor.  There is no sugar-coating that.  He was my favorite uncle.  I loved him dearly and cancer had taken him at age 42.  This loss was fast and I found myself questioning everything.  Why us?  Why my family again? 

As I've grown older, I realize that cancer affects too many of us.  I've stood and held my friend as she received word that her mother's cancer had returned.  I've held my sister as she cried over the loss of a friend's child.  I've given hugs to friends who have received news of a breast cancer diagnosis.  And most recently, I've hugged sweet Stella and tried to hold back the tears so that this 5 year-old won't know that the thought of her having cancer makes me want to scream. 

Even through all of this, I can tell you that there is joy in cancer.  Joy comes in many forms and sometimes you have to look very closely to find it. But if you squint and concentrate on the things and people that truly matter, joy is all around. 

Joy can be found in the nurse who brings you extra blankets and extra hugs when you need them most.

Joy can be found in the gifts from your Sunday School class that understands that bills add up when you aren't able to work.

Joy can be found in the smile of a 5 year-old who loves to dance despite the tumor growing in her little body.

Joy can be found in the prayer of thanksgiving given when a mother's cancer  is in remission.

Joy can be found in the smile of your Aunt when she shares the recipe your Uncle used to make you every Christmas.

Joy can be found in the smile of a 16 year-old girl when she finds the perfect wig to wear to prom.

Joy can be found on a mother's face when the doctor tells her that the cancer has not spread.

Joy can be found at your uncle's funeral when your college friends show up to carry you through.

Joy can be found in the dinner brought to you by friends who knew you just couldn't muster the energy to cook.

Joy can be found when you wake one morning and find that the nausea from the chemotherapy has passed.

Joy can be found in the shopping spree donated to a 16 year-old girl by an organization that grants wishes for terminally-ill children. 

Joy can be found by all of us who understand that cancer has no power over us.  God will defeat it and heal these earthly bodies.  His promises never fail.

And so, for those whose battle rages on, we stand with hope and power.  We call upon His name for strength to endure and know that He is with us.  How awesome to know that the God who created the universe is fighting the battle with us!

Dear Lord,  So many of us face cancer while here on this earth.  Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the pain and suffering to a brighter day that you promise for us.  Help us to put our hope in you alone.  Take all fear from our hearts and give us the courage to trust in you.  For we know that in you alone will we find peace.  Thank you for your promises of healing.  In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  Revelation 21:4

An Adventure in Anything

Anything.  When you think about it, that’s a pretty powerful word.  Recently, I read a book by Jennie Allen titled,  anything: the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul. In the book, she describes a process God took her family through in which they prayed “We will do anything for you.”  I remember thinking as I read, “That’s great for this family, but certainly He doesn’t expect me to do this.”  Little did I know, He expected exactly that and more.  

Most of you already know that I recently completed my Master’s degree in Education.  I am often asked why I decided to go back to school and change careers at such a busy time in my life.  With three young children at home, it certainly was a crazy time to take on such a task.  My answer has always been the same:  because God asked me to.  I have enjoyed being with and teaching children for years and so it only seemed fitting that God would call me to such an adventure.  I have been so sure of this decision. 

As the time grew near to begin the application and interview process, I prayed that God would lead me to the school in which I could best serve Him.  I prayed and prayed for the perfect interview at the perfect school.  The perfect opportunity never came.  I felt all along that the process just didn’t “feel right” to me and I even told Scott that I wasn’t sure that I was ready to work full-time. (That went over real well, by the way). Part of the benefit of securing a new job would be to help with the private school tuition bills that seem to be growing and growing. 

 I decided to take an interim position because it would give me valuable “beginning of the year” teaching experience without the commitment of a full-time, year-long teaching job.  I loved every minute of this experience.  I am so grateful for the opportunity I had in that elementary school.

And as God usually does, He spoke very clearly about my next adventure.  Just before the 2^nd grade position was to end, I received a phone call from the Children’s Minister at church.  She wondered if I was interested in working with our preteens.  Funny, because I thought I already was!  For years I’ve worked with 5^th and 6^th graders in various capacities.  She offered a part-time position leading our 5^th and 6^th grade children as the new Preteen Ministry Coordinator.  I was thrilled and excited about the possibility but suddenly, the thought terrified me.  Was I willing to put aside the classroom teaching for a different type of classroom?  I was so sure of my calling to be a teacher and now God decides to turn the path on me?  I found myself questioning and wondering if I had gotten it all wrong.  And what about helping out financially at home?  Would part-time work be enough? 

As I thought about the events that led up to this point, I realized that God had taken tiny steps to equip me for this exact position.  He had, in fact, convinced me to get another degree, a degree that would teach me how to lead children.  He granted me practical, hands-on experience with the very age group He wanted me to lead.  He prepared me with the book, anything, opening my heart to the idea of leaving my own plans behind to follow His.  Then, in His infinite wisdom and His perfect timing, He offered me the classroom experience He knew I would love.  When that foundation was laid, He quietly questioned me:  “Will you do anything?”  And of course, my heart screams back “Send me, Lord.  I will do anything.” 

It is with great joy that I begin this new adventure as Preteen Ministry Coordinator at Spring Hill Baptist Church.  My heart is humbled and I can’t wait to see where God’s path leads next.   

Dear Lord,

I am so honored that you would ask me to lead this group of children.   I want them to know you passionately and seek you in all that they do.  Help me to teach them how to find you.  Help me to show them how to serve others faithfully.  Give them a heart for missions so that when they leave us, they will be equipped to serve you wherever you lead.  I love you Lord and I am so very ready for anything.  Amen.

 

As a side note:  Two days after I accepted this position, Scott received a raise in pay at work.  It was like God was saying “See, I told you I would work it all out.”  I love it when God puts an exclamation mark on His plans!