There are days when I seem to have this whole "Mom" thing figured out. I can whip up a breakfast, get my three kids, myself, and my husband out the door by 7:20 a.m. and still have all five of us living by nightfall. But, sometimes, as a mother, I find myself questioning my mothering skills. There are days when I look to Heaven and ask, "Are you sure that I can do this? I don't know what to do. Please help me help my child." Watching your child hurt is an overwhelmingly difficult experience.
This was the case about two weeks ago when Macy came to me in tears over a friendship gone sour. Now, let me make it clear that this post is not about that incident or even that failed friendship. It's about me, the mother who finds herself approaching a new stage in this game of life. And it's about the way God ALWAYS shows himself faithful.
For most of my "Mom" career, my kids have come crying because of scraped knees, stubbed toes, and hurt hands. These hurts seem so easy to fix...kisses and a Band-Aid work wonders for healing little ones. These are the aches and pains that they will never remember.
But as my twins grow older, I'm finding that my mothering skills are being tested. No longer do I struggle with simple concerns like making them wear their jackets outside or worrying about whether or not another cookie will make their teeth rot out. No, I'm long over the days of simple worries. This game is not so easy anymore and the way that I handle each twist and turn seems monumental in their precious little lives.
My kids are coming to me with damaged egos, broken hearts, and shattered self-esteems. Simple bandages don't repair the wounds created by mean words, deceptions, and exclusions. These are the hurts that can make or break my children. These are the hurts that they will remember for a lifetime.
And so, like many mothers, I look for guidance in the piles of parenting books I've stored. Some tell you to teach them to fight back, to stand their ground. Others say that teaching your child ways to communicate will prove helpful in tough situations. Still others suggest children be limited in developing their own friendships and that parents should play a vital role in those decisions. It seems that there is no one answer to helping my precious ones through these early adolescent days. I have finally realized that these are the experiences they must learn to manage on their own.
And so I set out to help them do so. I prayed for guidance. I prayed for answers. And I prayed these delicate years would just pass without another bump in the road.
As I prayed, I found myself looking for bible verses and stories to help my sweet Macy in her friendships. We looked for verses that taught us what a real friend is and how a friend acts:
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
Love one another. 1 John 4:7
Be ye kind one to another. Ephesians 4:32
Love keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5
Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:39
We talked about how to BE a good friend and how to respond to the actions of others. We learned that God asks us to pray for the people who hurt us and through that we are made strong. We focused on empowering Macy with good words, good thoughts, and good actions.
One day last week I put a little note in her lunchbox to remind her what we talked about. On it, I wrote the words of Joshua 1:9: "Be strong and courageous. For God is with you wherever you go." I wanted her to understand that she was not alone. That Christ would help her in every situation. I wanted her to understand how valuable she is; not because of what others think of her, but simply because Jesus loves her.
The verse stuck with me so much that I included it on my boys' Valentine's Day gift. I want each of my children to walk confidently knowing that Jesus is with them every step of the way. It was as if the verse was written just for us.
In the past two weeks, I've shared some of the sweetest moments I've ever known with my daughter. We've hugged, we've cried, and we've prayed. I spent days praying that she would come to understand the love of Christ within her. I have seen so many glimpses of Him and I knew that He was actively pursuing her. And then as He always does, his love came through. She asked Jesus to live in her heart. My baby will be spending eternity in heaven with Jesus. And suddenly, it all made sense. These difficult days were all to point her to Him.
Today, our pastor preached a sermon on finding God's will for your life. The verses we studied were, of course, Joshua 1:1-9. I am constantly reminded of my Jesus' love for me. And today, my Macy enjoyed the reminder, too.
What a good God we serve. He orchestrated the whole thing for us. Joshua 1:9 will forever be a favorite verse for our family. It is an empowering verse that overflows with love.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
