I have many great things I could tell you about my father: He is a successful attorney, he provided for my sister and I, and he picked us up every other Friday night at 6:00 like clockwork. He is the reason I love Alabama football, love to fly, and love peanut butter. He taught me about baseball and he taught me how to make the best homemade pancakes. I loved spending weekends with him and my grandparents on their farm.
But as many people experience, sometimes as adults we realize that our parents are not who we would like them to be. They are real people, with real problems, who make real mistakes. Sometimes circumstances and situations arise that cause relationships to go sour and it really doesn't matter why, the hurt is still the same. My father and I don't have a relationship in which I am able to spend the day with him today. The truth is that there are countless little girls just like me who long to spend Father's Day with a daddy who loves them unconditionally. I love my father, but it's just not going to happen. So, for several Father's Days now, I struggle with the fact that I should call him, I should send a card, I should just do something because deep down inside I'm still the little girl who really wants to make her daddy happy. Every little girl wants her daddy to sweep her off her feet and dance.
On this Father's Day, however, I choose not to focus on what I don't have. I do have a Mama that will always answer the phone, always show up, and always tell me she loves me. She is never too busy, never too sick, and never preoccupied by others in her life to be with me or Sondra.
She taught me how to use a screwdriver, how to caulk a tub, how to dig a hole, how to trim the bushes, how to mow the lawn, how to drive a car, how to check my oil, how to ride a bike, how to catch a ball, how to throw a ball, and countless other "dad" things.
The one thing she has never done is criticize my father. Not once in 34 years have I heard a mean word about him. In fact, she is still the one that encourages me to mend the relationship I desire with him.
Being a mother has never been a choice for her. I was never an obligation. I am her daughter and she wants to be with me. Unconditionally.
Most importantly, I have a Father in heaven who promises to love me forever. He tells me his love endures forever and that He will never leave me. He tells me that I am treasured and that He is jealous for me. I am His daughter and I am so loved.
And so, on this Father's Day, I spent the morning with my mama. I made her pancakes and I thanked her for visiting me this weekend. I prayed for her safe travels home and I thanked God for the gift of both my parents. Because of them, I am learning to be best mother I can be. Unconditionally.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for knowing my heart today. Thank you for being the daddy that is always with me. Thank you for loving me, dirt and all. Thank you for my Mama and my father. As a child, they both provided for me, protected me, and loved me. I am especially thankful for the extra duty my mother has always been willing to work for my sister and me. She is a perfect example of your love. Help me to be the same unselfish parent that she has been. I love you daddy, and I can't wait for you to sweep me off my feet and dance.
Amen
This post was inspired by my good friend's Facebook post. It read "Happy Fathers' Day to all the divorced and single Moms out there who have pulled and continue to pull double duty by doing the work of two parents. Especially to the Moms of boys, who teach their sons how to throw a ball, catch a fish, be a gentleman, and never feel a lack of love a day in their lives." This status update changed my view of this somewhat difficult day. I pray that all single moms will feel God's blessing upon them today in a special way.
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