So many times when my twins were babies, friends would say to me, "Enjoy them while they are young." I always thought the were telling me that I would miss them when they were grown and out of the house. Maybe some were, but as my daughter grows, I've come to understand something else they might have really meant. What they were ever-so-delicately trying to say was, "Enjoy them now. They begin morphing way sooner than you think!"
Let me give you an example....
Today, I took all three children to the doctor. Granted, only one had an actual doctor's appointment, but it's tax season and Scott is not as readily available. I can't just leave the other two at home, so off we go to the doctor's office to address the nagging cough Macy has had for over 5 weeks now. I know, don't judge. It was time to do something about it.
After waiting for over an hour (that alone with three kids is not an easy task), we finally get to see the doctor and I begin explaining all the symptoms. Throughout most of the conversation, Macy sat smiling and agreeing, making small talk with the doctor as she perched upon the table. All of a sudden, as I explained some of the symptoms, she burst into the conversation with this: "Mom, that is NOT true. I did not tell you my chest hurt when I coughed. You are so wrong!" She morphed before my eyes. My sweet angel had turned into the dragon..."You are so wrong!" she repeated. Come on, moms, you know what happened next. I went straight into my "sweet but firm" mom voice and reminded my dear child of our conversation early this morning when she swore that her chest hurt when she coughed. I replayed the entire conversation with her and even explained that she was standing in the kitchen door with juice in her hand! Again, Macy disagreed, only louder this time. Morphed again...bigger dragon.
I gave her the "you just wait until we get out of here" look and then smiled back at the doctor. He was standing politely, no doubt wondering what had happened to the sweet little child that had entered the room.
Needless to say, my moody dragon was punished. Instead of enjoying one of the last Mardi Gras parades with Dad and the boys, she stayed home with me, QUEEN OF THE DRAGONS.
As I thought about how to handle my dear little dragon, I realized a few things. First, she is JUST LIKE ME. Far too often, I am too quick to correct someone. Truth be told, I like to be right. I am most definitely a Type A personality...competitive, hurried, and striving for perfection. Maybe some of this has rubbed off on my Macy.
I also thought about the hormones that might be beginning to rage within my baby girl's body. There have been more zits on her face lately.
And then I remembered how awkward it was to be a preteen. As the doctor tried to listen to Macy's chest today, she seemed nervous to have him lift her shirt. She was uncomfortable in that room today and maybe her shouting was just an outlet for that stress. How many times have I shouted at my children when stressed or under fire from other pressures?
Even still, the mother in me wanted my girl to understand that behaviors like hers have consequences. When the boys left for the parade, my sweet girl gently said goodbye and wished them luck. My heart hurt for her. This mothering thing is the real deal. It hurts to watch your child learn from her own mistakes.
And then it hit me: I have an opportunity to use this time to build a relationship with my little morphing dragon. I asked her to go to dinner with me and we giggled, we played, and we sang. It was the best decision I've made as a mother this week.
And from the backseat on the way home, my little dragon said, "Mom, I'm sorry I embarrassed you today. I shouldn't have yelled at you, especially in front of the doctor. Thank you for doing this with me tonight."
And again, she morphed right back into my sweet little girl.
I often struggle with how to handle parenting issues with my children. I wonder which discipline methods are best suited for each child and try my best to approach each child according to their own unique personalities. Tonight, my Jesus showed me that compassion and forgiveness can often trump discipline. Or maybe, they go hand-in-hand.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:12-13
No comments:
Post a Comment
I'd love to hear from you!